My best friend is the most patient person I know. She sips tea. She strolls. She re-reads emails for mistakes. And, she never voices things to her partner without thinking things through beforehand. (I know wow!) She’s kind of amazing…
I, on the other hand, am not the most patient person. (You can ask my ex-boyfriend :P) I go and hope that forethought follows. I was weaned from the school of (re)action.
Still, for the most part, this ‘tutelage’ has served me well. I’ve seen the world. I’ve skated in the Olympics. I’ve recovered from an eating disorder.
I’ve opened a business. I do things. And, the doing is great. Until it’s not…
What happens when doing keeps us from being?
I am certain that there is action in inaction. In pausing. In checking in.
Because, not (re)acting is an action too.
Now I realize that this may sound counter-intuitive but think about it. We are never actually still. And, when we stop doing enough to realize that, what else might we realize?
Yeah. There is that…
A little more being
matters. And, don’t just trust me! From the NYTimes
, here’s the science bit:
“Idleness is not just a vacation, an indulgence or a vice; it is as indispensable to the brain as vitamin D is to the body, and deprived of it we suffer a mental affliction as disfiguring as rickets. The space and quiet that idleness provides is a necessary condition for standing back from life and seeing it whole, for making unexpected connections and waiting for the wild summer lightning strikes of inspiration — it is, paradoxically, necessary to getting any work done.” (Source
Take the action to ‘do’ less. Then, let me know what you see!
You can start by watching this :P! —>
When I’m having a rough day, I try to remind myself to ‘let it go or be John Lennon…‘
Today, I’m changing that to ‘let it go or be RINGO!‘
Yes. Today, I’m honoring the sheepish Beatle who sings “with a little help from my friends.” Because I get SO much from them.
For instance, HONESTY. I love my friends for their honesty. And, for the latent permission it allows me. Isn’t that a rub?!
We walk around with such (unfair!) super-human expectations of ourselves and then BAM! A friend. A beloved friend comes in and blesses us with vulnerability. What a gift.
Seriously though. It is a gift.
It goes something like this: ‘How are you doing?‘ Answer: SINCERITY. Truthfully, the answer doesn’t really matter. It is a conduit. It is a conduit for listening. For connections. For life.
Translation: It’s probably not– “Okay.” Or, “Fine.”
It is our humanity not our (feigned) ‘normalcy’ that unites us.
What I LOVE about my friends is their bravery. It inspires me to be real. Honest.
I’m beginning to think that the point is not to have it ‘together’ but to have the courage to have the life you have. OUT LOUD.
And, I have my friends to thank for that 🙂