I’m going a ‘last burger tour’ of Ithaca before I move. (This place was AMAZE-BALLS!) At one of my stops on the ‘tour’– yes! My mom is proud 😉 — the waitress congratulated me for finishing my entire meal. SERIOUSLY! To note, my friends are not on the tour (they are just enjoying my tomfoolery), but I was eating with two other guys and two other women. Mine was the only meal that was commented on. Evidently, Jamie likes her meat :P.
Sadly, or thankfully, I laughed and said: “It was a great burger.” (It was okay.) Still, I am so grateful that that was the extent of the ‘incident.’ 100 points for me! Because, if this had happened ten (or even five… :() years ago I would not be laughing. I would be, what they call in recovery, “triggered.” Because of a chatty waitress. Who meant no harm. And, because I was hungry. How human. Us both.
I am reminded of the phrase: “It goes without being said.” This phrase is utter crap. And, too true. I believe that nothing should go unsaid. Nothing. (Except maybe comments about burgers or bodies in the first place! :P). Think about it. Why would you not tell someone you love them? Why would you not tell someone you found his / her comment disrespectful? Why would you not tell someone that you need a hand? It goes unsaid is code for: I do not respect you, myself, or my needs enough to voice them. LAME.
I probably should have said something about the burger…
Another truth, even if it’s not an eating disorder, this dieting stuff and disordered eating is WACK-A-DOODLE. Technical term. 91% of women on college campuses have dieted (Source). And, what about the way we talk about food and our bodies– like chattle. Is this what we really need to be learning?…
Reality: We’ve all probably already said something daft, cruel, and pointless in front of each other. Us hangry, confused, inchoate, wonderful people.
That’s okay. I know I definitely do it too. And, it’s my
job life RANT.
And, yet, WHY?!!
Why are bodies and food public domain?
We can do SO much better. Healthier. 81% of 10 year-olds are “afraid” of being fat and 80% of 13 year-olds try to lose weight (Source). Now, my childhood was ‘different’ but the normalization of body-dissatisfaction makes me want to SCREAM. We need to learn to talk about other stuff.
We need to set some standards. And, have some boundaries. What about, instead of food, ‘what’s good?’ Or, listening. I’m just saying…
Even if this ‘body / food brew-haha’ struggle is not your own, chances are you know of it or will come across it. So listen. Notice. It’s everywhere. And, too many of us in recovery or just hazing through life do not want to talk about it because of what people already believe. Or, because of what’s already been said.
One more ‘statistic.’ From my reality:
I remember meeting a friend in a coffee shop a while back. This friend disclosed to me how she was randomly placed in a dorm and both of her roommates (along with her) had had similar eating struggles in high-school. That is 3 out of 3. Now, I’m not a math gal but it is easy to spot 100%.
Let me be clear, I’m not saying that this is everyone’s story. But, I am saying this is an important story. To hear. To receive. To understand. Sans lifetime TV.
With relish 😛
Watch what you say.
With love! (Resources)