My Buddha’s Brain book says that life is full of darts. And, not just the kind I ‘throw’ at a bar. Sorry, if it was you (or the wall) I hit ;). My book says it’s like this:
Life throws darts at you sometimes
but then this thing happens…
We continue to throw darts at ourselves.
When we throw it, it is called the “second dart” and that dart is a SHARP one. Turns out we have good aim. At least at ourselves.
Now. Here’s where it gets really interesting. Sometimes, there is no first dart. Sometimes we are just playing (
re-)action. Sometimes, we are just poking ourselves.
Wall aside, I’m pretty sure that’s not how darts work…
An excerpt, for clarity! :P:
Remarkably, most of our second-dart reactions occur when there is in fact no first dart anywhere to be found–when there’s no pain inherent in the conditions we’re reacting to. We add suffering to them. For example, sometimes I’ll come home from work and the house will be a mess, with the kids’ stuff all over. That’s the condition. Is there a first dart in the coats and shoes on the sofa or the clutter covering the counter? No, there isn’t; no one dropped a brick on me or hurt my children.
Do I have to get upset? Not really.
I could ignore the stuff, pick it up calmly, or talk with them about it. Sometimes I manage to handle it that way. But if I don’t, then the second darts start landing, tipped with the Three Poisons: greed makes me rigid about how I want things to be, hatred gets me all bothered and angry, and delusion tricks me into taking the situation personally. (Source)
I am pretty certain that he’s suggesting that we can control our reactions. Especially, if we learn to decouple our emotions from our practical reality. We don’t always have to play. Or, throw.
I’m pretty sure the wall does not take it personally. Now. If only I could learn how to too…😛