Is the implication.
Now, I’m not talking about some schoolyard bullying. I’m talking about the looking-at-my-life and pointing to something and stating: ‘This. This is why I’m unhappy…’
I’m pretty certain it doesn’t work like that. Except we all think it does. And, we point accordingly.
Think about it. When was the last time you blamed your: job, relationship, addiction, money woes, children, hobbies, friends… for your unhappiness? That’s pointing. And, it’s false.
Because, those ‘points’ get fixed. Or, they change. And, yet, we still never seem to stop finding ourselves pointing…
Or instead, sometimes, we remain fixed– staunchly pointing because we do not want to confront ourselves. Confront our (potential) (un)happiness. Confront our humanity. This fact was remarkably jarring at work the other night: ‘What happens if I fix this point (eating disorder symptoms used as a foil for unhappiness and instability) and life doesn’t get better…’. What happens when I don’t have something to point at anymore? What happens when I’ve taken full accountability for my contentment?
Our points have purpose– SCAPEGOAT.
Look. I’m not saying it’s easy. And, trust me, too many days I want to point to some lack or problem that I am sure is keeping me from floating off into a reverie of chocolate-raspberry croissants, yoga and hugs from (real) strong men. Still, I am certain that this is in fact my problem.
Bluntly: The problem is there is no problem. At least not something you can point to. So STOP. Stop the pointing! We are not on the playground anymore. Every situation you are in has the opportunity to help you grow and evolve. And, when you point to something as your ‘problem’ you are externalizing your happiness! You are becoming your own bully by taking your happiness outside yourself and then problematizing it to fix it.
What if you just remember: You can do hard things. You deserve to be healthy. You do not have to be swayed.
What if you pointed that finger at you and SMILED.
Get the point?!! 😛