Who comes to the store…

2 May

I think this may be my most important post ever.  At least to me.

And, it is SO simple.

(HINT:  Go to the store.)

Who comes to the store for you?  When the (paint) chips are down, who will come and still see you.  Those are your people.  Your (heartmade) family.  Your levity.  Keep them.

Hold them.  Nourish them.  Support them.

Thank them

Everyone else will come and go.  That’s okay.  That’s experience.  That’s learning.  That’s life.  And yet, those relationships will come to not matter…

Everyone else can share a laugh and a moment.  A jog and a story.  A beautiful time.  A kiss even.  But if they do not go to the airport, or store, or to safeguard your heart, they are not your people.

(HINT:  We ALL need people.)

Now, what exactly is this ‘store’ sketch about?…

A little backstory.  And, a bit about me.

I am inchoate.  And, I have weak spots.  One is the size of a brother.  I miss him.

And, sometimes I forget that I miss him.

Then, I went to the store.

I went there thinking I would get painting supplies for an art project in my home.  Then, I would proceed with my evening plans.  No biggie.

Except.  It was.

I forgot.  (How?!!)  I forgot how he had shown me those things.  I forgot the smell of turpentine.  I forgot that he never bought pink paint.  He bought ‘Basics,’ if he was low on cash…

I froze.  Physically.

I stared for an hour at this.  Willing. 

Willing myself to move from the earth I melted into.

Instead, I felt.  Shock.

I watched my mind logic it out.  Tiredness.  Loss.  Grief.  In words:  TOO MUCH.  I laughed inappropriately:  ‘Could have thought this one through J.  Really?!  Painting?’

I felt the air go out of my body.  And, then I started making calls.

So many calls…

Most, I do not fully remember.  Some were indeed odd.  (Sorry- my loves!)  Still, my mind seemed functional.  Functional enough to know I should sit and have some friends pick me up.

And, they did 🙂 

There is an interesting experience that occurs when your system is jolted like this.  I call it:  clarity.

So, now I know.  And, I am lucky.  My people go to the store.  And, if I was caught wondering, then you are not my people.  Someone I may smile at.  But not a store person.

And, I know what matters to me.  I’ll go.  Any time.  Anytime I get a call.

(No one should be in the store alone.)

I can do that.

(HINT:  So can you.)

Last night President Obama referenced:  “One American Family.”  Now, I am NOT going to get political (–that DEFINITELY starts the mental loop! :P) but I get this family idea.   Family is always a beautiful dream.  Family is love.  Showing up.  It does not have to be biology.

It starts with going to the store.

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