Holding out for a dud

25 Feb


When I got this article sent to me MULTIPLE times within 24 hours I figured I had to post it.  Especially, after I got it from two of my favorite MEN!  The article talks about a ‘new’ type of man:  the “pre-adult” or “guy” who is maladjusted to the older social road-map of school-marriage-family.

Wait.  Aren’t we all?

I think happily ever after only worked out for Mr. W. Disney.  And, I heard he’s frozen right now…

Now, before I make it personal, I need to take a breath.  Despite the feminist leanings of the author, I’m pretty sure the over-arching ‘what happens next in this society / economy’ problem is not gender specific.  There really is no road-map.  For any of us.

Still, it is true that how men and women drive behind the wheel can be STRIKINGLY different.  Just watch my mom.  Or, me– when I’m bored :p.

Nonetheless, I actually think the real issue is this. (Read it!)  It’s not gender.  It’s our relative age and who is running the show.

For reasons (perhaps noted in the WSJ piece) we can get stuck in a cycle of short-term gratification or distraction.  We, too often, let our ‘child’ come out to play and lose sight of “[t]he self-control necessary to accomplish what will make both the child and adult parts of you proud–proud of your now highly functioning, and at last well-integrated, self.”  In other words, too much of getting whatever you want in a playtime kind of way leaves you with nothing solid to hold on to.

Following, (and making things worse?) according to WSJ article:

“Single men have never been civilization’s most responsible actors; they continue to be more troubled and less successful than men who deliberately choose to become husbands and fathers. So we can be disgusted if some of them continue to live in rooms decorated with “Star Wars” posters and crushed beer cans and to treat women like disposable estrogen toys, but we shouldn’t be surprised.”

Now setting aside the fact that this quote is heavily gendered, the author seems to be eluding to the same conclusions garnered by Dr. Seltzer.  Perhaps the loosening up of our social mores has actually led to a compatibility decline, cultural stagnation (“pig heaven”), and a bit of arrested development for us twenty-somethings.

Accordingly, the larger question begs: What’s actually deterring about a bit of grown up fun ;)?  When has road-tripping alone ever been that great?  I mean seriously, how can you get your picture with that ball of twine alone?

Ultimately, you actually NEED someone there to pull over for that restroom emergency.  😉

We all do.

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